


Hearts are going to pop

by PinkFluffyBabboonButt



Series: My songfics [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: A songfic, M/M, Neither fluff nor smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-30
Updated: 2016-10-30
Packaged: 2018-08-27 23:57:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8422720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PinkFluffyBabboonButt/pseuds/PinkFluffyBabboonButt
Summary: Jean and Marco live together in the same apartment. Jean was supposed to have football but his coach got ill and now he's back home where a surprise is waiting for him.A songfic inspired by Lenka's The Show.*unbeta-d*





	1. Chapter 1

Marco had rediscovered the song by mistake. He'd been going through all of his boxes in the basement of his and Jean's shared apartment when he'd found the small iPod hidden under all the trash in one of the boxes. The paintbrush, his favorite one, the object he'd actually been looking for, had been there as well. He returned to his room with both objects tucked into the pocket of his hoodie.

For weeks now Jean had been having a major artist's block. It wasn't until his teacher Mr. Armin Arlert steeled up and told Marco to paint anything, even a stick figure, or else he'll fail that Marco really started to sweat over the block. If even nice Mr. Arlert was worried about Marco then his artist's block really must've gotten in the way of his skills lately. But it wasn't like Marco could help it. Ever since Jean had moved in with Marco things had began to roll in the wrong direction for Marco.

_Almost a year ago their principle Mr. Reiner had had enough with Jean and Eren, two dorm neighbors and each other's biggest enemies, causing a ruckus in the college dorms every other week. Although it was always Eren who started the fights Jean was the one who could never let it be and the one who made things tenfold worse than they had to be. Jean was kicked out of the dorms and needed to find some other place to stay. According to the stories told by others and Jean too, he'd slept in Connie's car for three weeks before he'd seen the flyer with Marco's number on it._

_At that time Marco had recently moved to the city. He'd had to change colleges because of all the bullying he got. Who would've thought that students have time for bullying in college. Then again the first college he went into wasn't that good anyway. But it had been cheap enough for his parents to afford. After the bullying got out of hands Marco had to either stop his art studies or he had to choose a more expensive college. With some coaxing from his parents he finally gave in and changed into a new college. However, he was determined to not waste more money than needed. So what if he was the only child, he couldn't waste all of his parents' money on his studies._

_Unfortunately when Marco came to the town it was the middle of the study year. He got his classes arranged with the help of Mr. Arlert in a way that he could just pick up from where he'd left before moving but getting a place to stay turned out to be a harder task. In the end he managed to land down a fairly big but quite rundown two bedroom apartment. At first he tried to live in it as well as anyone could live in such an apartment but soon things got harder. That's when he decided to abandon the dream of having private makeshift atelier in one of the bedrooms and rent it to some other student to save some of his money. The other student turned out to be Jean._

_Jean didn't have problems with money. His parents where wealthy enough to pay for their only child's studying expenses. Although Marco had rented the other room only in hopes that his flatmate would pay for the central heating bills Jean ended up paying for a lot of other things as well. And without a single complaint._

_It all started with Jean coming to see the house for the first time._

_Marco had never seen anyone more handsome. He was so lost in admiring the quirky lopsided smile of Jean's that he didn't notice the other boy calling out his name._

_"Marco? China to Polo. Can you hear me?" Jean tapped Marco's button nose with the tip of his finger._

_Marco broke out from his thought mentally smacking himself for sidetracking into obsessing over one single smile. "Uh, yeah. I mean sorry, what were you saying?"_

_"I asked why the house is so empty."_

_"Eh, well. I don't exactly have the fullest wallet to be honest." Marco felt his face flaring red. The poverty of his family had been one of the reasons why he'd been bullied back in his old college. Marco had hoped he won't face any of that here but the first bully warnings had already come his way and Marco was cautious with everyone._

_"Oh, I see." Jean pouted, deep in his thoughts._

_If Marco's heart skipped a beat over the pout then it was no one else's business._

_"I must say that your apartment sucks, but I've got no other option. I'm taking the room." Jean finally said._

_After that living with Jean gradually became a more and more torturous he'll for Marco. The fact that both the boys were was established in the very beginning of their coexistence. Jean had just one day blurted it and asked Marco to tell him already in the beginning if it was okay or not because Jean would rather live in Connie's car than have someone his age frowning over his partner choices. That's when Marco told Jean he was gay too. That was how their friendship began. Just by making things comfortable for one another. Jean never mocked Marco for the money issues he had, instead he paid for all the mutual needs in the apartment while Marco never judged Jean's partying, instead he helped Jean get over his hangovers without Jean having to roar in agony the way he used to do back in the dorms._

Sighing Marco stared at the canvas in front of him. He couldn't come up with anything to paint. Usually he never had problems painting, he'd just think hard of some lovely moment or scenery and then paint it. But lately his thoughts were plagued by Jean.

_He couldn't tell when he exactly began to fall for the ill tempered boy. It wasn't the first smile or even the pout. Those had been mere aesthetic pleasures. The actual fall happened sometime during the one year that they'd been living together. In fact it was a mess of many small things and moments. The one time Jean shouted the corridor clear so his introverted and flustered flatmate could make his way through the packed corridor. And also the one time when Jean came home not drunk but in tears. The way he'd trusted Marco enough to let his tears flow in front of him. Jean often thanked him for listening and being there but deep in his heart Marco wanted to instead thank Jean for trusting him so much. That one time when Jean let him snuggle against his body when Marco had fallen asleep while they were watching movies or that one time when Jean had worn Marco's shirt because "Does it matter, we share the same toilet seat for fuck's sake". That's what he'd said when Eren had snickered at him._

Marco ran his hand through his hair. He just couldn't come up with anything painting worthy. Well, Jean was more than painting worthy but Jean would hardly appreciate being his muse to the paintings that all of their classmates will get to see. That was the problem. Two gay guys living under the same roof, and none falling in love with the other was an impossible situation. Even Eren and Levi hadn't been spared from that fate. Nor was Marco but Jean was still in an oblivious bliss. It wouldn't have been hard to just blurt it to Jean, tell him how much Marco liked him but there was just too much at stake here. If Jeandidnt reciprocate to Marco's feelings then things would get even more awkward than they would've gotten if Jean had been straight.

Turning away from the hauntingly empty canvas Marco flopped down on his bed. Opening the old iPod he'd entirely forgotten about he went through all the old playlists he had in it. Despite all the bullying he'd endured none of the songs in his iPod were sad ones. It just wasn't part of Marco's nature to get sad or angry over anything. As he scrolled past all the songs in his iPod one of the songs caught his eyes. He didn't remember the song but just the name of it suddenly made his heart beat harder.

Ever since the bullying Marco had stopped listening to music. He mostly listened to pop which made him apthe butt of jokes to all the guys in his former college. After the move Marco didn't have time due to settling down to the new environment and when Jean moved in he began to just listen to whatever Jean played while painting or sketching. In fact he'd forgotten a lot of songs from his old playlists. Marco wondered if he should try listening to his type of music. Maybe that might help him get over the block or at least get fledglings of new ideas.

Taking his headphones out of his bag Marco laid down on his bed to get relaxed hoping it'll help him get good ideas.


	2. Chapter 2

Jean was happy. The last few weeks had been very stressful to him. In fact so stressful that some of his stress had even affected Marco. The boy hadn't been able to paint a single piece in such a stress filled environment. But Jean couldn't help it. God knows what had made him, an art student, take up on playing sports. The college tournaments were coming so their coach had been much more strict to them than he usually was. Luckily all this stress had made the old drunkard fall ill. Now for a while none of their team would have to tolerate their stressed out coach.

Jean almost skipped as he reached for the main door of their apartment. The last few weeks hadn't only been stressful but also Marco-less. The two boys hadn't gotten time to spend together at all. Jean had barely been home to get changed between college classes and football practices while each time Marco just seemed to sit in front of his void canvases trying to come up with something to paint.

Opening the door carefully so he won't disturb Marco Jean slipped in. To his surprise instead of the lulling silence that settles over their apartment whenever Marco is trying to come up with some idea to paint the apartment was filled with Marco's uneven voice. At times his voice got so low that chills ran down Jean's spine and at times he screeched so high that Jean had to wince and somewhere in the middle of these two settings Marco's voice sounded so nice that Jean couldn't help but start to hum the same two sentences that Marco was singing over and over again.

"I'm just a little bit caught in the middle. Life is a maze and love is a riddle."

Seemed like Marco had finally come up with some idea. Jean smiled to himself. Maybe the voice of his flatmate was awful but if it meant that he wasn't stressing anymore then even Jean could stop stressing over his issues for a while and just enjoy himself. The tiny smile still intact to his face he headed for his room hoping to finally catch up with all the series he hadn't had time to watch the past few weeks.

 

Jean had tried. He had really tried. But he still failed. At some point Marco repeating the same two sentences began to get a little tedious. How on earth could the boy keep singing them? Wasn't he getting bored? Jean still tried to tolerate it, refusing to break the cheerful aura in their apartment. However, three hours later Jean knew that he'd tolerated enough. He paid heals the rent and for a lot of other things as well. He was entitled to enjoy his own solitude in his own room and Marco ruining it wasn't something to be accepted just like that.

Getting up from his bed Jean headed to Marco's room. The door was slightly open and Jean saw Marco singing and shaking his bottom in a cute way. The way Marco was singing and dancing made it clear to Jean that the boy was so lost in his painting that he hadn't noticed Jean coming back. The boy wasn't this open whenever Jean was around. Sometimes it almost felt like he didn't like Jean. Despite it Jean had always hoped for some miracle to happen.

Ever since meeting Marco for the first time Jean had loved the button nosed freckle jesus. He still remembered how Marco had blushed for the first time when Marco indirectly told him that he hadn't enough money to even get a proper central heating. And when he'd found out that the cute freckles was gay too the deal was sealed. Jean moved into the shithole despite getting so many better offers, just to live with the cute boy hoping that some day a beautiful miracle will happen and Marco will become the Levi to Jean's Eren. A year had passed and still nothing happened.

Instead of storming in Jean stood by the door watching as Marco painted. Jean wanted to see what had Marco painting in such joy. There must be a reason why any painting would make Marco so happy. A few more strokes later Marco abruptly stopped. Jean should've either stormed in to finish why he'd come there or just left then but instead the sudden hunch to Marco's shoulders made him stay rooted where he was standing. Marco had been so happy only a blink earlier. Jean was curious, what could've shifted his mood so drastically.

Suddenly Marco began to sing, what sounded like different lines from the same song he'd been singing for the past few hours.

"Slow it down, make it stopper else my heart is going to pop. Cause it's too much, yeah, it's a lot. To be something I'm not."

Marco's voice was still as uneven as it'd been before but now he was barely whispering the words. Jean still stood rooted to his spot when he saw Marco dropping down on his knees allowing Jean a view of what he'd been painting.

He'd been painting a portrait of Jean.

Jean couldn't believe his eyes. Hours of cheery mood and terrible yet cute singing only to paint his ugly mug? However it wasn't the painting that shocked Jean the most, Marco's words shocked him more.

"Yeah, Jean. I'm in love with you and it's so hard to act as if you're just a buddy. You're not just a buddy to me, and well, I don't want to be just your buddy. Only if you knew how damn hard it is to live with you under the same roof when I know you don't feel the same way." Marco chuckled in a very sad way that made Jean's heart clench. He kept watching as Marco leaned in and placed a light peck on the lips of the portrait.

Was Marco out of his mind? Of course Jean wanted to be more than buddies with Marco. Marco was the one here always hiding in his room only coming out to help Jean's sorry ass when he came home drunk. And by the time Jean got sober Marco always vanished back into his room leaving Jean with only blurry memories. Of course there were movie nights and that one time when Marco had let Jean cry his heart out, but then again Marco was a nice person. He'd do those things for anyone.

"I'm just a little bit caught in the middle. Life is a maze and love is a riddle. I don't know where to go. Can't do it alone I've tried." Marco sang again before sighing and speaking to Jean's portrait as he caressed it's cheek. "I've been loving you for almost a year now and this whole one sided thing is wearing me down. I just wish I had the guts to face your anger or disgust. At least that way I'd get a closure but of course I had to be a sorry excuse of a man and never have guts to tell you about my feelings."

Hearing the words made Jean's heart clench another notch. How could Marco think he'd be disgusted by a love confession. And specially by a love confession from Marco. Carefully Jean pushed the door open and silently tiptoed behind Marco who was still staring at the goddamn portrait with sad moony eyes. Leaning down Jean tapped Marco's shoulder.

The sudden tapping must've scared the freckled boy as he nearly jumped by the sudden touch and turned to stare at Jean as if he'd seen a ghost.

"J-Jean?" He said, nervousness lacing every single letter. Marco looked away from him. From the way Jean was looking at him it was obvious that he'd seen him confessing his love. He couldn't look into his flatmate's and buddy's eyes after that.

"Marco," Jean began, unsure where to start from.

"I'm sorry, Jean. I know this s disgusting and you're mad at me. And I understand it. Just, please, don't flip. I can explain." Marco lied. What on earth could he explain to Jean? He felt mortified and the blush of shame covering his face wasn't helping at all. However, Jean's reply caught him entirely off guard.

"Well, I don't know what you can explain after all this, but whatever it is you better start explaining it right now. Because I'm quite interested to know why a portrait of me is getting all your kisses and caresses when the real deal over here is all love starved of you." Jean smirked.

At first Marco couldn't process what he heard and once he could he couldn't believe what he heard. "What?" He asked sheepishly.

"I said that I'd like to know why the portrait of me gets to be your first one when I've been fantasizing about being you first and last one for almost a year now." Jean said more directly hoping that Marco would finally get it.

He didn't.

"What?" He asked sheepishly again.

"Come here you fool," Jean huffed but instead crossed the space between them himself and came to stand only inches apart from Marco. "I said," he kept leaning closer and closer to the boy who seemed to have frozen by shock, "I'm going to spare your painting only because it's your handsome version of me, otherwise I would've burnt it by now because I love you more than you could ever imagine. You doofus."

With that Jean closed in the space between them and pressed a kiss on Marco's lips who took a moment before melting into the kiss.

"So much that you can't even tolerate me kissing a painting of _you_?" Marco asked after they broke the kiss.

"Ugh, that's a bigger problem. You've got me then why kiss that? Why pop my heart like that?" Jean asked as if the whole idea was the most incredulous thing ever making Marco laugh.

"Well, I think we can fix that without popping anymore hearts." Marco said with a shy smile and a blushed face before diving in to kiss Jean again.


End file.
